3 Kinds of People Who Should Not Be Allowed to Marry

My friends, Chris Christie, governor of New Jersey, would tell his hypothetical gay child that “marriage is between a man and a woman.”

I accept the stance.  It’s the biblical / political / economical world view.  My problem is, the Bible is not where marriage came from.  The institution was contrived not out of God’s desire to see that Adam was not alone and without a “helper / helpmate”, but so that the rich could protect their property rights.  For centuries, marriage was THE ONLY WAY to ensure your property would remain within your family.  Hence arranged marriages and dowries and the like.  Up until about the 18th century, most nobles did not marry for “love”.  They married for “economic protection”. 

While I believe this is not a bad thing, so long as a woman has a choice in the matter, that has not been the case historically, not unless the woman was of a status and power that she could challenge the word of a man.  In most cases, however, daughters were offered as part of contractual obligations and “rewards.” 

This is the history of marriage.

Now, I won’t say that I disagree with Chris Christie’s stance.  I believe the natural order of the Universe provides enough evidence to suggest that men and women are two pieces of the same whole.  That is, procreation, without science, usually only occurs when a man has sex with a woman and plants his seed within her.  What any of this has to do with “marriage”, I have no idea, because marriage does not appear to be a concept where the natural order is concerned.  Some species of bird “mate for life”.  Some do not.  Some lions remain with their mates.  I think the same may be true of elephants.  Our closest relative – the chimpanzee – does not.  In fact, historically, many human males, though they “married”, tended to…go beyond the “boundaries” of their said marriage.  There was even a king that would execute his wife when he was tired of her.  One of the most famous kings in Judeo-Christian history had somewhere in the neighborhood of 700 wives and concubines (King Solomon), and King David (Solomon’s father) was a lecher, at best (and this is the line that Jesus descends from). 

Again, I’m not going to disagree with Christie.  In fact, I’m going to emphatically agree with the man.  Marriage IS between a man and woman and should remain so.  I can’t imagine pimping out my son in an arranged marriage.  My daughter, however, is free game.

I’d like to take this further, though.  That marriage is between a man and a woman is a biblical argument.  So as to keep this argument valid, I would like to see some other things outlawed, banned and made illegal on biblical grounds.

1. The Obese

A well known deadly sin is gluttony.

Their end is destruction, their god is their belly, and they glory in their shame, with minds set on earthly things.

-Philippians 3:19

 

Be not among drunkards or gluttonous eaters of meat, for the drunkard and the glutton will come to poverty, and slumber will clothe them with rags.

-Proverbs 23:20-21

 

I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship.

-Romans 12:1

 

But put on Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh, to gratify its desires.

-Romans 13:14

So…overweight people should not be allowed to marry or enter public office.  Also, anyone who is gluttonous in the way of having a love of material things should be banned from owning stuff.  Like the men who run the Megachurches and wear Armani suits. 

I don’t buy any argument that gluttony might have a biological basis.  It’s greed.  It goes against the Word, so let’s just call it what it is, shall we?  An abominable heresy.  The overweight and obese should be judged by the same standard as homosexuals, whether they have a thyroid condition or not.  You have a CHOICE to eat and drink and put junk in your body.  Therefore, any and all arguments to the invalidity of banning overweight/obese people from public office and marriage are null and void.  Same with the materialists.

2. Anyone who wins awards for anything

Pride is another deadly sin.  By now you should figure that I’m going to go through all seven. 

There are people who win awards for all sorts of things.  Oscars.  Grammys.  Emmys.  Trophies for sporting events.  Employee of the Month.  Raises for doing a great job for so many years.  Graduations.  These are all things that inspire pride.

They should be illegal.  Anyone who wins an award should not be allowed to marry.

EVER.

Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God?  Do not be deceived: neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men who practice homosexuality, nor thieves, nor the greedy, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God.

1 Corinthians 6:9-10

So… 

None of these people should be allowed to marry, make as much money as “normal” people or serve in a political office.

3. People who cite conspiracy theory as a valid reason for impeaching a serving president

Michele Bachmann.  I very nearly admire this woman’s spunk.  You know, she tends to lie…a lot.  Yet…she’s Christian.  She serves God…  But she wants to impeach the president because “he didn’t prevent the government shutdown.”  Conveniently disregarded is the fact that she and a bunch of other politicians (both Republican AND Democrat) are responsible for this fiasco.  BOTH parties sought a political advantage in this.  And BOTH parties did their fair share of lying.  So, while we’re impeaching the president, let us also hold trials for EVERY member of Congress who partook in the vote that led to the shutdown. 

Also, people on the fringes of thought should not be allowed to marry.  They might produce offspring that will lead to a breakdown in the American society, and we surely don’t want that.

I understand a fair number of the people mentioned are already married.  If so, their marriages should be annulled immediately.  We can’t have overweight/obese people, prideful people, liars and homosexuals producing offspring.  The Word CLEARLY prohibits these things… 

So why are we singling out homosexuals?

I’m not suggesting that Democrats are not engaged in a lot of the activities mentioned above.  There are some pretty well known Democratic leaders who have cheated, lied, swindled people and abused the system any way they could.  If we’re really a country of people that is comfortable restricting the rights of people who happen to be attracted to the same sex, why are we not comfortable with punishing our leaders for the crimes they commit daily?  A whole group of people is outspoken enough to want to impeach Obama, but everyone (including Obama) went silent when the whole war crimes issue with President Bush came up.  And it’s funny how that works.  Obama’s quite literally one of them…  He enacts the same policies, makes the same mistakes, serves the same corporations and sleeps in the same bed as the rest of them…but he’s the only “criminal” in a suit?

They should all be brought up on charges.  Every. Last. One.